I can still tell you exactly where I was sitting and what I was wearing when I took out my credit card and signed up for my first Body Challenge. We do thousands of little things every day that we never recall, but I remember this so clearly. It’s as if my mind just knew I was changing my life in that moment.
I had been stalking Bonnie and the Fitness Asylum on Facebook for a few years (yes, YEARS) watching so many women and men change their lives, but never believing that it could be me. But suddenly, I was ready. It was time. I was at my highest weight ever. I was buying clothes in size 2x, and even those were getting iffy. I was tired all the time, and everything hurt. When I traveled for work, I worried about fitting in the airplane seats. Going up and down the stairs in my house was work. I was embarrassed to be seen in public and there are zero pictures of me with my children to be found anywhere. I was totally absent from my family memories.
The beginning was hard. After bootcamp I would sit in my car and cry. How did I let things get so far out of control? I would get so frustrated at meal times when I wasn’t eating what I “wanted”. Once I even said to my husband “If I don’t lose any weight this week, I’m driving to Bonnie’s house and eating ice cream in her driveway” (Hahaha! Sorry Bonnie!)
But, I just kept showing up. Showing up to boot camp, showing up to eating clean, showing up for changing my life. This, I believe, is the key to success. Keep showing up—even when you don’t want to. I had a coach once who said “You’re not always going to be motivated, so you just have to be dedicated.” Keep showing up.
Since January I’ve lost almost 75 pounds and five (5!!) pant sizes. I’ve overcome fears, gained confidence, mental toughness and laughed and cried while doing it. I’ve done every challenge this year, and I’m not stopping anytime soon. I still have a long way to go, but I am determined to be a strong woman.
I did not get to this place alone. I owe any success this year in no small part to many people, but a few in particular: my husband, who loves me in all my forms and sweats right next to me at every boot camp (can’t get him on the food plan yet—someday). Bonnie, who sets the bar high and expects the best—a true leader! Kim McMahon, who is an unbelievable role model and whose support means the world to me, and finally, I simply would not be where I am without Jamie Kerr. From the very beginning Jamie saw strength in me that I did not know was there. She’s tough, but supportive. Kind, but no-nonsense. She believed for me, when I couldn’t believe for myself. Thank you Jamie for everything!
To be recognized as Sexy Bitch by this community that I adore and respect so much is a dream come true. You inspire me every day and I am honored to be part of this kind, supportive and badass group. Thank you all for helping me to change my life.
This Anna White quote perfectly describes my FA experience: “I think this is what we all want to hear: that we are not alone in hitting the bottom, and that it is possible to come out of that place courageous, beautiful, and strong.”
So, if you are at rock bottom or just want to see how high you can go, come to the Fitness Asylum, our community will lift you up.